Nights on the tiles as cat leaves a future fossil

Bathroom Chronicles, Part 7

We’re rapidly reaching the conclusion that cats and renovations don’t mix. After our misadventures in the hotel across the road, we thought we’d be past the worst of it.

We should be so lucky. Last week we had the all-important membrane was laid – or rather spread – in the bathrooms, followed a couple of drying days later by the screed, which is plumberese for cement.

We managed to keep the cats from getting stuck to the membrane, despite the best efforts of Mac, our ginger tom, to climb the flimsy barrier across one door, left open to facilitate the drying.

But we dropped our guard when it came to the screed. Thus, we awoke the next morning to the sight of tell-tale pawprints in the cement, where Mac’s sister Pepper had wandered into the bathroom, realised her error, turned tail and exited.

Or maybe it was deliberate and she only latterly realised that she would need to know how to write if she was going to sign her name next to her Hollywood star-type impression on the bathroom floor.

Either way, the next person to renovate our bathrooms may be surprised to find perfectly fossilised pawprints under the tiles.  The tiler was, by the way, unfussed.  “Cat, OK,” he said. “Not Elephant.”

The cats seem to have become used to the noise and disruption.  Being contrary animals by nature, they will probably start pining for the builders once this is done.

By way of an update, the plumbing has now all been moved around with the concealed pipes and tapworks fitted behind the ripped-out and re-gyprocked walls. 

My plan to have the tiles cut with surgical precision and then the gaps filled-in, died the moment the builders realised that in a modern apartment block, tiles are attached to something like sheets of cardboard and surgical precision is no match for wholesale destruction and slabs of plasterboard.

The floor tiles are now down with choices like brick pattern (they are rectangular) vetoed by Chris the Builder.  Apparently brick pattern is old-fashioned. Having not spent all my waking hours on websites like Houzz or social media sites like Instagram, I am in no position to argue.

But I’m happy to see progress being made.  To be honest, if I was told we’d have to make do with a bucket and a hose, I would surrender for the sheer convenience and semblance of privacy.

Tomorrow the tilers come back to grout our unbrick patterned floor tiles and then the Venetian Plaster and shower screen people come to measure up. 

We have been promised  the return of the plumbing by Thursday week. Fingers (and legs) crossed till then.